Nagging questions about post-divorce dating....?

Okay, background info, I'm a 28 yr old newly single mom of two boys (ages 4 %26amp; 6). This question is not an implication that I want to start dating again, because my divorce isn't even final, and I realize that I need to give myself some time before starting a new relationship. Just some questions that are running through my head.

Do a lot of people have a fear that after the divorce and the kids, no one else will want them? I wasn't ever that great at the whole dating game to begin with, and I hear these horror stories about single moms and how the men they date pretty much scram after they find out about the kids. To divorced parents (moms especially), did you worry about whether anyone would want to be in a relationship with you post-divorce?

I'm also having some trouble with a major rule that I think should be followed exactly, but I can't figure out how to do that. I'm gonna run out of room, so be patient so I can finish the question. :-)

Nagging questions about post-divorce dating....?small myspace

no I never worried about whether anyone would want to date me......I was more worried I wouldn't want to date them......or have the time to date, and I really didn't have the time.....

Nagging questions about post-divorce dating....?myspace text myspace.com

#1: I'm divorced as well, 2 children, would PREFER to date a woman w/children - not so uncommon, and we always hear the horrible stories, but rarely the to great ones (it's like people slowing down to watch the car wreck)

#2: It's YOUR family, your life - specific rules about how things are done come with the family.

So, someone interested in you (%26amp; Children) will be interested in specific rules.
if a guy is into the woman, the kids are part of the package. take it or leave it... and visa versa

it's just a matter if the kids accept the person that is coming into their lives.

if everyone gets along, then run with it.. if not.. run away from it.

i met a woman with 3 daughters. i was afraid they wouldn;t like me when i first met them.. i did some research and found out what they liked and went shopping.. when i met them, i bribed them.. they LOVE me.. not because i 'bought' them, because i knew how to win them over from the get go. i showed them that i had an interest and it was great from there...
I was not worried if men would want to date me. My biggest concern was whether or not they would accept my children. Blessedly, I found a man that accepted all 6 of mine along with all the responsibility. (and don't worry about what people "think" you should do ...follow your gut. You are much smarter now than you were then. You may be ready to date now OR you might not be ready for years yet... either way... do it YOUR way and don't let others determine for you when the right time to date is. Best wishes on your new life! and after reading your addition... the guy WILL understand if you are the one for him. Otherwise... move on from anyone who doesn't want to play by your rules.
This is a fear I had when first separated. Took me awhile to learn to be happy on my own and not to search for someone else, because if I was happy and content in my life it didn't matter so much. I knew that if someone would come along it would be great but if they didnt, then I would be happy on my own too.

As far as the kids go, always be up front from the start. The kids are part of you and a part of the package. If the guy you are talking too/seeing can't handle that then he is so not worth wasting your time over.
All your concerns about "will someone want you?, will someone accept the children?" are normal concerns. You just give it time and that will change. It is good to have rules about not bringing people around the children until you know this for good. The kids have a lot to deal with already.

As far as the man who owns the store across the street, well don't kid yourself, you know you are into the guy and you are confused about how to deal with. You do need to remember that you are not divorced yet, and that you should respect that for the sake of the children. Be on you own for a minute, give it time, it will all play out.
If this male friend is already in their life I see no reason why you should not let the kids see him if it turns into something more.That would only confuse the kids(here today, gone tomorrow). I agree that kids should not develop a relationship with every guy you date but if things get serious they should meet the fellow.You will want to know how he acts around your children.Be up front with the guys from the beginning about your children.I am divorced and remarried.My son was grown when his father and I divorced and my daughter was 15 so I had things a little differently.You sound like you have a pretty good plan in place.Just be willing to adjust your plan if needed.
im sure with the whole dating game that everyone feels some sort of insecurity. don't let that lower your standard at all. your kids are young and they will not understand the transition. don't do this all at once cause divorce is very hard on kids. I remember that very well when I was a kid

Dating and how to make it soo not awkward?

Started dating this guy I like. I have no clue where we stand. He is a good guy, but does not make moves on me.

I am scared to make a move on him cause I dont think he wants it.

what to do%26gt; and why is it so awkward?

Dating and how to make it soo not awkward?celebrities myspace

well its always better to start out as friends, but even though you didn't that's okay too. just talk to him more and more. the more you know about him, the less awkward everything will be. and if he didn't want you to make a move on him than he wouldn't be in the relationship to begin with. don't worry, follow your heart and just GO for it girll !

Dating and how to make it soo not awkward?small myspace myspace.com

well, if it's really awkward than don't start making a move yet., wait till you feel comfortable...give it time/.//
It's down to you. If this is a guy you really like, you have to ask yourself where you want to be with him and how much you can put up with. If you can handle the awkwardness, ride it out and wait for him to open up. If you can't, I'd advise you to make a move on him- a deliberate, straightforward move that can't be misinterpreted- and see how he responds.

Between you and me (and the yahoo answers message board) I get the impression this guy is either very green to the dating scene (out of practice, novice, whatever) or he's seeing someone else on the side but is too nice of a guy to officially "cheat" on his other woman. I sincerely doubt the latter, because the length of time that has passed between you two is too long for a nice guy to maintain a double life (nice guys, myself being one of them, are poor actors and terrible liars- he would've been caught by you or the other girl by now!). That only leaves out-of-practice as a valid theory.

He's nervous and awkward, and he'll stay that way until you show him that you're not trying to burn him/mess with his head/want to be just friends.

Why is dating can be such a headache to go through?

I find dating sometimes such a frustration task to go through like a job interview? You polished and re-edit your cover letter and resume to make sure it "fits" the job description. You send hundreds of resumes out there and have to compete with loads of qualified people And what you only get a handful of interviews.. Making sure you dont bombed the first/second/third interview??? ... Especially when dating gets a bit of challenge as you get older?

Why is dating can be such a headache to go through?icons for myspace

I think you should make it fun. If you are making it like a job, than you are not doing something right. Don't take a date that would not make a good mate. You can screen these dates.

Why is dating can be such a headache to go through?hidden myspace myspace.com

Because when you do find the right person, it's just that much more rewarding.
it's part of finding someone special in your life. be optimistic.

Would you continue dating someone just because you were lonely?

I moved away from my hometown a few months ago. I've been dating a woman here for a month now. I like being around her, but she's just not the right person for me. I've continued to date her just because I feel so lonely away from my family and friends, and she offers some comfort from that loneliness. Should I continue to see her?

Would you continue dating someone just because you were lonely?layouts for music myspace

No. You may not realize this, but you are using her. You're using her to fill the empty void in your life. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot? If she was lonely and only dated you to fill that empty void? Would you want to stay with her? Would you be ok with this? Probably not. You'd feel used. She deserves better. Tell her it just isn't working out for you. It'll break her heart, but it's better to end it that way then say. "Hey, I was only using you because I was lonely."

Would you continue dating someone just because you were lonely?view myspace myspace.com

I don;t think that is fair to her
no, find someone who will swap you off your feet. If you're with her you wont find someone better.
hell yes
no I wouldn't
I agree with candyman, it isn't fair for you to use her.
I wouldn't be with someone just because I was lonely. I only would want to be with someone if I really liked him.
It's not fair for her to lead her on, what if she thinks you want a long term relationship? Maybe you can break it off amicably and if she's willing perhaps stay friends?
have u tried just being friends with her

u should be honest with her though, if u dont fell that strongly about her, u should tell her, because if dont , then she will also miss out on someone else

personally i dont think u should continue seeing her like that
i agree its not fair on the woman. if ur lonely join some sports teams or evening classes or sumthing. make friend first u dont have 2 find a partner. at the end of the day most relationships and and u will be lonely again but friendships last. stay single and mingle until the right one turns up
You may continue to see her if you make it clear to her that you like being around her, have a chat once in a while, maybe a night together or whatever but that you don't see yourself getting involved on a deeper level. Once she is aware of this, there is no misleading or deceiving and if she decides to continue seeing you, it can be a nice relationship anyway...
No not in a romantic way its kinda selfish, now if shes is doing it for the same reason then hey thats cool. However if she is in any way wanting something more than you need to be honest and let her know how you feel.
Hell NO! When you are alone, that is when you learn to define yourself as a person. If you are so weak you cannot spend time alone with yourself to really find out who you are and what you are all about, you might as well commit suicide because secretly, what you are actually doing is killing yourself.

Nagging questions about post-divorce dating....?

Okay, background info, I'm a 28 yr old newly single mom of two boys (ages 4 %26amp; 6). This question is not an implication that I want to start dating again, because my divorce isn't even final, and I realize that I need to give myself some time before starting a new relationship. Just some questions that are running through my head.

Do a lot of people have a fear that after the divorce and the kids, no one else will want them? I wasn't ever that great at the whole dating game to begin with, and I hear these horror stories about single moms and how the men they date pretty much scram after they find out about the kids. To divorced parents (moms especially), did you worry about whether anyone would want to be in a relationship with you post-divorce?

I'm also having some trouble with a major rule that I think should be followed exactly, but I can't figure out how to do that. I'm gonna run out of room, so be patient so I can finish the question. :-)

Nagging questions about post-divorce dating....?small myspace

no I never worried about whether anyone would want to date me......I was more worried I wouldn't want to date them......or have the time to date, and I really didn't have the time.....

Nagging questions about post-divorce dating....?myspace text myspace.com

#1: I'm divorced as well, 2 children, would PREFER to date a woman w/children - not so uncommon, and we always hear the horrible stories, but rarely the to great ones (it's like people slowing down to watch the car wreck)

#2: It's YOUR family, your life - specific rules about how things are done come with the family.

So, someone interested in you (%26amp; Children) will be interested in specific rules.
if a guy is into the woman, the kids are part of the package. take it or leave it... and visa versa

it's just a matter if the kids accept the person that is coming into their lives.

if everyone gets along, then run with it.. if not.. run away from it.

i met a woman with 3 daughters. i was afraid they wouldn;t like me when i first met them.. i did some research and found out what they liked and went shopping.. when i met them, i bribed them.. they LOVE me.. not because i 'bought' them, because i knew how to win them over from the get go. i showed them that i had an interest and it was great from there...
I was not worried if men would want to date me. My biggest concern was whether or not they would accept my children. Blessedly, I found a man that accepted all 6 of mine along with all the responsibility. (and don't worry about what people "think" you should do ...follow your gut. You are much smarter now than you were then. You may be ready to date now OR you might not be ready for years yet... either way... do it YOUR way and don't let others determine for you when the right time to date is. Best wishes on your new life! and after reading your addition... the guy WILL understand if you are the one for him. Otherwise... move on from anyone who doesn't want to play by your rules.
This is a fear I had when first separated. Took me awhile to learn to be happy on my own and not to search for someone else, because if I was happy and content in my life it didn't matter so much. I knew that if someone would come along it would be great but if they didnt, then I would be happy on my own too.

As far as the kids go, always be up front from the start. The kids are part of you and a part of the package. If the guy you are talking too/seeing can't handle that then he is so not worth wasting your time over.
All your concerns about "will someone want you?, will someone accept the children?" are normal concerns. You just give it time and that will change. It is good to have rules about not bringing people around the children until you know this for good. The kids have a lot to deal with already.

As far as the man who owns the store across the street, well don't kid yourself, you know you are into the guy and you are confused about how to deal with. You do need to remember that you are not divorced yet, and that you should respect that for the sake of the children. Be on you own for a minute, give it time, it will all play out.
If this male friend is already in their life I see no reason why you should not let the kids see him if it turns into something more.That would only confuse the kids(here today, gone tomorrow). I agree that kids should not develop a relationship with every guy you date but if things get serious they should meet the fellow.You will want to know how he acts around your children.Be up front with the guys from the beginning about your children.I am divorced and remarried.My son was grown when his father and I divorced and my daughter was 15 so I had things a little differently.You sound like you have a pretty good plan in place.Just be willing to adjust your plan if needed.
im sure with the whole dating game that everyone feels some sort of insecurity. don't let that lower your standard at all. your kids are young and they will not understand the transition. don't do this all at once cause divorce is very hard on kids. I remember that very well when I was a kid

Dating someone with MS?

I've been dating a girl that has MS for about a year. I'm 28, she's 21 and was diagnosed when she was 16. It has been really hard on me because the MS has caused her severe self-esteem issues, which affect the relationship when she breaks down after hearing even the slightest bit of criticism from others, regardless of how unwarranted it may be.

I'm having a hard time adjusting to the university (Berkeley) and her being very dependent on my support is wearing me out. I've been very supportive of her and have helped her achieve many things but the minute I show any disagreement with the way she handles things, I am accused of not being supportive at all.

I love her and don't want to break up with her but she is failing to take care of herself, ranging from not taking her Copaxone shots to going as far as cutting herself this weekend.

I live an hour away and am busy with school and can't be there with her so I'd like for her to take care of herself. Therapy's not working.

HELP!

Dating someone with MS?kids myspace

I also have MS and I also had the same emotional problems that you have described, I was always in tears over the smallest of things.

I spoke with my MS nurse about it and I'm now on anti depressants which have helped me no end, I finally feel like I'm getting my life back.

I am also on Copaxone shots and they do work together.

See if you can encourage her to speak to her Dr about what is going on. Its hard, I know I didn't like people saying things about me being poorly and needing help and I even ignored the advice from my nurse for a few weeks until I realised I was losing complete control.

Good luck and if you want to ask me any questions mail me.

Dating someone with MS?premade myspace myspace.com

Get her parents involved. They need to know that she is cutting herself and has depression issues. Don't make her problems into your problems. You can't fix them EVEN IF you love her, EVEN IF you're there for her, EVEN IF she's mature, EVEN IF the moon is made of cheese. She's decided to be a "victim" instead of a "survivor". There's nothing you can do to change that- she'll have to do it on her own. Until she can be strong enough within herseld she isn't healthy enough to have a relationship with you. She's depending on you like a friend, a very bad one, not as a lover and companion.

I think it would show alot of class and charachter on your part to contact her parents. A few years down the line she will be grateful for what you've done for her.

Dating and Race?

When it comes to white men and black men is there like a different way that they go about apporoaching dating. I heard that for example with white men usually they expect the woman to take the innitiative with things, for example phone calls and stuff ... is there like any truth to this

Dating and Race?blocked myspace

no difference,if you like the gut no matter what race,just try,whats the worst that can happen,him saying,no thats about it.so go for it,and dont worry about race

Dating and Race?girl myspace myspace.com

Of course not. That is all just stereotypical junk.
it is pretty much the same men typically wait on yall to do all those things just like in the relationship.
i don't see nothing diffewrent, i honestly i've dated all types of men, from white to asian to middle eastern and hispanics, and honestly i think they all are the same. that's just my opinion, cuz im not racist, the only difference it's the religion.
THE SKIN DOESN'T MAKE THE DIFFERENCE.

PERSONALITY DOES!
Nope. Race has nothing to do with what you're asking. What a man does in terms of relationships or 'initiating' things depends on what his personality is and how he was raised, etc.