Dating a recently divorced man with a jealous wife....?

I was dating a man who recenlty became divorced (two months ago from a 4 year marriage). His ex-wife found out and started calling me, driving by my house and job, etc. I really like this man, but she scares me. Will she get over this, or should I just move on? This was his first real relationship since the divorce, so I assume that is what makes her angry, but how long can she stay mean? It's just not fair...

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My ex is bi-polar which sounds like your case here (or maybe Borderline Personality Disorder) in which case you probably won't get rid of her until he moves on and she goes after the current g/f. It's all part of that have to have control, if I can't have you nobody will, I hate you don't leave me thing.

If you ever want some peace, start calling the police every time she harasses you, get a copy of the police report, keep a file, and get a lawyer.

It's been 10 years, and mine is still a pain in the rump.

She won't go away. The disease won't let her, and these people can be anything from comically annoying to fatal attraction. She may stay focused on him, and go away when he gets a new g/f, or decide that you are the cause of all her problems and that he left her to be with you. Don't take a chance. call the police.

I am sending a link to the MSN group Psychopath. There is a wealth of information there for you, and some terrific people. Good luck !

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If you really feel for this man, don't give up-BUT, you should make sure that he is really divorced.
No it's not fair, I would lay it low for a little while. If she don't stop bugging you put a restricition order on her to keep her away.
Can't he stop her........that is their business......not yours?
just use her evil energy as a source of power. she is mad because she doesnt have what you have. she is jealous. when someone is jealous of your car, you dont give it up. or someone is jealous of your hair, you dont cut it off.

she wants you to leave him more than anything else in the world, to prove her point that he is incapable of having a good relationship. dont give her the satisfaction of having influence over his and your life. be happy. let her be miserable. it is her choice.

if it gets really bad, you can always threaten her with a police warrant.
better date single guys, less complication, less trouble.
What can you do with a psycho at your door? Have your husband talk to her and tell her to lay off. I had the same problem and I just stuck in there. She was saying all kinds of stuff about me to my so called friends. She even said something to my land lord and he kicked me out (Me and my son).But the man i was engaged (now married) took care of us. Bu she kept it up. She even got a job where we always go.Now that is twisted. I just wasn't afraid of her and showed it by smiling and saying hi to her. Told her is she wanted to have coffee. I'll be waiting. She got the picture. But this one is twisted in the head and all you can do is talk to your husband and stick in there.She eventually calm down.
Just hang on to what you long for, ignore the jealous person, she will fade away in the power of your love!
Find out first whether he is really divorced.

If the answer is yes, then she got no business to be terrorising you.

Otherwise ask him to settle all things with his ex, before getting involved with you.
It is advisable to apply for a police protection order before it is too late.
get a restraining order! It sounds like she is still in love with this guy, and resents losing him. Make sure he is really divorced (ask for proof), and then ask him to speak with her about your concerns. It could be a Fatal Attraction. I hope he`s not rebounding, and trying to make her jealous. That wouldn`t be fair. If this continues, break it off until she stops her behavior or he talks to her about it. take no excuses! It`s unacceptable behavior from his ex, and makes me go hmmmmm?
There are a few points I would make on this situation. First, 2 months isn't a very long time to get over and move on from a 4 year marriage if you ask me. Maybe he has his reasons, but that would be a red flag for me if I was considering a relationship with this person. Second, dealing with her or any other baggage from a previous relationship isn't your responsibility, its the person who left that all behind. You see, before I would even think of dating again, Id be damn sure all my issues with my EX were dealt with and far behind. Its not fair to you or any other person he chooses to date if emotions and turmoil are still lingering from a freshly ended relationship.

Also, If she is calling you or driving by your place, or following you or any other creepy thing like that, its not only dangerous, its illegal. They call it stalking and harassment. If he wont do anything about it or tells you not to worry, then dump him. If he does try and she still persists and you still want to be with him, then its time to take the gloves off. You and him need to sit down and call the police. Together. End of story.
come on! you are a women and being a women myself, we both know she can stay mad, mean and stop at nothing until gets what she is after. You can and will make both your lives a living hell. You can choose to end it or fight it out with her or you could choose to continue dating but not out in the open. Try to understand Divorce is hard and you don't know why or the cause of their divorce, even if he shared it, its one sided. She needs and has to go though a lot of emotions and she hurts, with that she knows he as moved on and that is the final chapter of their life, getting divorce is one thing and you can rekindle, but not when the other moves on to a relationship. Give her some slack and some time and try not to rub it in her face. if she cant get herself in control then look at it again and make a decision that will make a statement to her' you'll not going any where and to deal with or to him, you cant and you don't want to do this any more.
Make sure he is divorced and give her time to settle down.
My instinct is to back off from this type of triangle, but if you want to work through it, you have to know it's really up to the guy you're dating to stop her. Tell the guy you just wanted to let him know what's been going on and it makes you uncomfortable for her to be doing that. Then dont tell him what to do. Sit back and see if he can fix it.

If you get a chance to talk to her, tell her calmly that while you understand that she still loves her ex husband, if she doesnt stop harassing you, she's giving you no other alternative but to get a restraining order against her. Tell her that you dont want to do that because it will leave a record on her name but that what she is doing to you is unacceptable and wrong and you have to protect yourself. If you can get across to her your sincerety, I think any normal woman would stop. Dont be sarcastic or make any snide remarks. You're just making a statement, that's it.

It isnt fair but the ex lady is doing what she thinks she needs to do. Who knows how hurt and wrongful she feels from being with the ex. Just be careful stepping into this if at all.
Why did they divorce?
According to Dr. Joy Browne, it is inadvisable to date anyone until you or they have been divorced for one full year.

Not only are you having to deal with his nutty ex, but you may end up being the rebound relationship.

Anyway, ask your BF if he thinks she is dangerous and take the necessary precautions.
Walk away from the situation for now. It's troubling that this woman is stalking you, and it is troubling that this man seems "too laid back" about the situation. Sounds very unhealthy to me. It could also be feeding his ego in some sick perverted way. When he found out about her stalking he should have supported you. Doesn't sound like he is. Could he be fueling his ex's jealousy in anyway? Be careful.. be safe. You owe that to yourself.
Stay away from him---he has way too much baggage and you could get hurt.